Friday, September 2, 2011
Despite the 100+ heat today in the 'ville, I am thinking about fall. The summer has...no scratch that...THE YEAR has flown. This has been my 40th year. I will be 41 in a month and some change.
It's so easy to let time slip by, giving so much to the "have to" parts of life and ignoring the parts that can make you feel good, happy (or maybe this is just me). I have been in Louisville for one year. I still travel home on the weekends. I still feel like I am caught between two lives.
The apartment I call home in one of the lives is awful. I picked it quick on a weekend trip to Louisville before starting the job. I had no idea about neighborhoods or what I wanted. I figured it was a temporary thing and I hadn't rented since my mid-twenties. The day I signed the lease, I learned I could not have pets, aquariums or nails in the wall. I thought, "Oh, well...family will be down here soon and we'll buy a place." This apartment feels like a cheap hotel.
Well, as stated, a year has come and gone and I had to recently resign another year on the lease due to a very heavy workload and not having the time to look around for something in one of the great neighborhoods I have discovered the past year. Life has taken some crazy turns and my family is still up north (problems with husband's transfer).
The job has gotten familiar now. I am still learning, but I feel comfortable. It is not exactly where I want to be, but it is a good job. I have gained about 20 pounds over the past year, not a happy outcome and I am so sad I can't get into a good percentage of my gorgeous, vintage clothes*. I started this blog (after a hiatus and retirement from an old blog), but have slightly pigeon holed it. I have thrifted. A lot.
What I think I need is a jumpstart. I need to find that woman that was gung ho on a new adventure. The one that worked out three times a week and brought her body back into "normal". The one that loved to write and try new things. The one that had a family to come home to at night.
I cover two states with my job, plus occasionally am assigned to the other two bordering ones. In order to stay focused and be overwhelmed with the work-that-never-stops, we make annual work plans. Additionally, we make weekly work plans with a forecast and accomplishments. At first, I despised these plans. They made me feel micro-managed. However, over time I have grown to like them a little.
And, I think its time I use a little Micro-managing in my own life; I need a little working plan of my own.
So, in the next couple of weeks, by my 41st birthday on Oct. 5, I am going to come up with a list of 41 yearly goals. I am going to attempt to create weekly work plans to help me reach my goals. The ultimate goal: not to be here, on the eve of my 42nd birthday, wondering where my time and energy and life has gone.
*It's not helping that I found the second season of Nip/Tuck at a thrift store a few months ago and the theme seems to be Christian and Shawn turning 40.