Maybe, the Regret

Oh, spring loveliness here today. Blue sky and reasonable temps, I just had to get out of the office and drive around. Days like today I love KY and am so happy I ended up here (pure luck, I say!) And, the fact I have been here almost three seasons is just amazing to me.

Other days (and even sometimes into the evening), I feel panicked. My husband is a lot more adventurous than I am. He says, "Sometimes you just have to take a chance..." He is excited and happy about the move. Me? I have always been at odds with 'chance'.

Tomorrow, I am setting off to see too-good-to-be-true house and land (I've been there several times now, but the realtor does not know this fact). I saw they reduced the price by $15,000. The place is beautiful, but remote...or at least it seems that way considering one has to track up a mountain and down into a hollow. You can only see other folks' houses way off in the distance on top of a different mountain (okay, hill, but a mountain to this former flat-lander). The house and property are just perfect. I think maybe too perfect.

I am on the fence about the location. I am not sure I want to be remote again. Back home in IN, our house is rural, but the in-laws live just down the road. We can't see our neighbors, but they are there. This weekend, back up North, I managed to get both my vehicle and our pick-up stuck in the blessed wet snow. Husband was at work. My eldest child had a birthday party to attend later and we needed a gift. I was able to call up my MIL and she took son to store and party and my FIL and step-BIL (also a neighbor) came to my rescue with a tractor. In KY, we will be on our own. And this scares me.

So, I found two other homes to check out near the edge of Louisville. Both are 'city' houses, but both offer large (as in 2+ acre) lots. Both are convenient to the city and decrease our work commute. Well, it will shorten my commute (the other house is actually closer to hubby's work) and I am not sure I want to go back to an hour one-way commute to work. I love being home quickly when the day is done. The closer city homes offer a chance to know our neighbors (possibly) and have someone to rely on if ever there need be a reason.

I think my worst fear is regret. Maybe I will regret selling our lovely 10+ acre lot in IN. Maybe I won't find anything in the same price range. Maybe my job here will end. Maybe I will have trouble with childcare. Maybe I will be lonely here...or maybe I will love it. Maybe I need to let chance (aka fate) have her way. Until we sell the IN property and get Dh down here, it's all just a pipe-dream anyway.