Truth be told I am struggling. Remember the great house I found? Well, I hesitated and an investor bought it out from under us in one weekend. The day the realtor called and gave me the news, I had just been on the phone with a friend. The friend and I were arguing and have not spoken since mainly due to my "say it as it is" attitude. Then, if all of this was not enough, the following weekend my MIL and I fought because she said, in front of my children, "You left them..."
I have been in Kentucky for
I went to a new doctor this week (here in KY) and she said, "This phase will pass...trust in God or your own spiritual belief that this difficult time will pass..." I really, really want to believe this to be true.
On a side note, the Dr. scheduled me a mammogram. My maternal grandmother died at 43 from breast cancer. My aunts (mom's sisters) all died from breast cancer (various ages), and my own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 43. I turned 40 in October and resemble the maternal side of the family. I guess I should have been getting these a few years ago.
OK, back to the whinge...
I hope I made the right decision coming here. I love KY. I love the spring weather, greenness and blossoms all around. I love the hills and the wildness of this place. I despise the long winters of the Great Lakes area, the perpetual flatness. This is the part where I am sure I am in the right spot. However, there is the nagging fear. The fear that I made the wrong decision and have upset our life permanently. I love our 10 acre property and I know I will not be able to find anything comparable at the price we paid. The house we lost would have been close; however, it was further out away from life than our current place and this was why I think I hesitated.
Sigh. I am just talking in circles. I have been thinking in circles for weeks and it is driving me crazy.